


Proud

by angvlicmish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon verse, Coda, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 19:56:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7375372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angvlicmish/pseuds/angvlicmish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary talks to Dean about his angel of the lord.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Proud

**Author's Note:**

> Now let’s pretend Lady Toni Bevell did not come to Kansas. Let’s pretend Sam and Cas came home, soon to be followed by Dean and Mary and hugs and tears were shared. Let’s Pretend this is a week or so later just for the sake of my ficlet.

“You love him, don’t you?” Dean lifts his head to see Mary staring at him with an adoring look in her eye. Dean scoffs.

“Who? Sam? Well, of course I do. He’s my brother.” Dean says rolling his eyes.

“No, not Sam. Castiel. Your angel.” Dean chokes on air and he can see out of the corner of his eye that Mary is smiling.

“What? No! I don’t - okay first of all he’s not my angel. And second of all…I mean like yeah I love him as a brother but not like - what - ya know what I mean.” Dean mumbles. The fondness in Mary’s eyes only seems to grow stronger.

“Dean, honey,” she says softly, “Just because I’m old doesn’t mean that I’m blind. The way you talk about him to me and the way you look at him, whether he’s looking at you or not, is not the way you act around someone who is your brother. It’s the way that John and I used to act around each other.” Mary says, reaching out to take Dean’s hand from across the table. Dean drags his free hand over his face in frustration.

“Look, Mum, I don’t - I’m not…I’m not, ya know, attracted to men. And hell, he’s not even a friggin man! He’s a - a wave of celestial intent or some crap. It’s not like he’d -”

“Dean. I don’t care who you love or who you are. I’m proud of you know matter what. You and Sam are my babies…I just want you both to be happy and after only a week of being here I can clearly see how happy Castiel makes you.” Mary says, her tone still soft and her hand gently squeezing Dean’s. Dean looks down to the table unable to look her in the eye. 

“Mum I can’t just…he doesn’t…” Dean whispers, squeezing Mary’s hand even harder. This is all too much. Dean can feel the overwhelming sweet of emotion in his chest.

“Sweetheart, I know this might be hard for you but my maternal instincts tell me that Castiel needs this too. Whenever you two speak he seems to become…disengaged. Like he’s upset. And, you never know, maybe I’m wrong. But what I do know is that a hunter’s instincts never lie. It’s just like all the times I told you that angels were watching over you. I was right about that, wasn’t I?” Dean chuckles softly and wipes a hand over his now teary eyes. 

“Huh, yeah. I guess you were right about that.” Dean finally looks up and Mary gives him a small smile.

“Go tell him. Make me even prouder than I already am.” A tear slips down Dean’s cheek but he stands from his chair, taking his hand from the safety and warmth of Mary’s.

“I’ll try.” Dean says, giving his mother a small, grateful smile.

In a minute or so, he’s down the hall and knocking on Cas’ door.

“Come in.” Cas’ voice sounds soft but tired. When he opens the door the angel is sitting on his bed reading an old, dusty book. 

“Ah, hey, Cas. I was just wondering if I could talk to you about somethin’ for a minute?” Dean asks, lingering in the doorway.

“Of course. What is it, Dean?” Cas replies, placing his book down and moving over to sit on the edge of his bed. Dean quickly shuts the door and hesitantly sits down next to Cas’.

“I just wanted to tell you that…um I don’t really know how to say this.” Dean takes a big breath, deciding that it’s now or never. He has to do this. He’s not going to be a coward any longer.

“It’s just that, ya know, I…need you…like more than just…” Dean trails off, his courage slipping slightly away.

“I know, Dean. You told me. I’m like a brother to you. It means a lot.” Dean might be lying to himself but he swears he hears a little bit of disappointment in Cas’ voice. “There’s really no more for you to say. I understand.” Cas says, looking towards the floor. 

Dean can see how tired Cas’ looks. How drained. Dean can’t help but think how pathetic he, himself, is. He made this happen. All because he could’t grow a pair and tell Cas what he really wanted to say. 

“No, Cas, you don’t understand. It’s not like that. I know I said you’re a brother to us, I know that. But that’s not - I didn’t mean…you’re not a brother to me, you’re…” Cas finally looks up and meets his gaze.

Dean takes a long breath and on the exhale he breathes, “I love you.” It’s so quiet that he’s unsure whether Cas heard it or not. But the shocked look on Cas’ face gives him the answer. He can see Cas’ hands grip the sheets of the bed tightly until his knuckles are white. Cas’ eyes start to fill with tears and Dean isn’t sure about what to do. He didn’t expect this reaction at all.

“I - I don’t understand. How could you after everything I’ve done? I’m useless. I’m a burden. I’m not worthy of- ”

Without giving it a second though, Dean quickly smashes their lips together. Cas makes a startled noise at first but soon his eyes are closed and he’s slightly pushing back against Dean. Cas’ lips are so warm and soft that Dean thinks he could get lost in them. Nothing has ever felt so right in his entire life and he can’t help but think about how much time they’ve wasted all because Dean didn’t have the approval that he needed. 

When Dean finally pulls away, Cas’ eyes are still closed but after a moment they open and he can’t help but notice that his eyes look even more beautiful from up close. 

“I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so sorry. Everything you’ve been through, is because of me. I’ve never treated you the way I should. Never. But I promise I’m going to make up for it. I promise because…because I love you.” Dean says, and the second time he says it, it seems even harder. But he says the three words anyway because this is what Cas’ wants to hear, what he needs to hear.

Dean’s hand comes up to cup Cas’ cheek and he can’t help but smile at the way the angel - his angel - leans into it. A few tears are streaming down Cas’ face but he’s smiling and god, has Dean missed that smile.

Cas’ eyes are twinkling and he takes Dean’s other hand in his own. “I love you too, Dean.” he whispers. 

It suddenly occurs to Dean that Amara was right. She did give him what he needed the most. She gave him his mother and his mother gave him this. And this, Cas, was everything.

Meanwhile, somewhere in the bunker, Mary Winchester sat, and her hunter instincts told her that her eldest son was making her proud. They weren’t wrong. They were never wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> For more ficlets go to angvlicmish.tumblr.com


End file.
